in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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