i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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