this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
