OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We need a shit load of segways right now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
