So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
