Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Boobs are out for the taking
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
