I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize