you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
