he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
