Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
