Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
