can u get pink eye on your cock?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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