If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
