haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
