Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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