Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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