hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
