SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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