porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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