Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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