ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
