remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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