I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
