I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
