Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
