David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
