hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
