I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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