i love accidental penises.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
