The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Holy sore nipples Batman
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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