remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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