i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
