Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
