fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
