I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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