I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
