I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't turn off my feet"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
