he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
