Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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