Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
why do cheetos always look like penises
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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