So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize