so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
