carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i drank out of a bidet.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
