Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love you. Go after that dick
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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