ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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