ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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