**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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