just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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