i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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