do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
