Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize