I'm drive I can fine osifer
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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