Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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