I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
