so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
