Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
