so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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