I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
